Porn in the USA: Interview with Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson, is the internet community manager at Covenant Eyes accountability software, a company that helps people overcome their addiction to online Porn. Over the next few days, Luke is going to be sharing with us a ton of information about how deep this sin problem is.

PART 1: Is porn a problem in America?

In short, yes

There’s no debating the size of the pornography industry. Worldwide, porn brought in $97 billion in 2006. That year, people in the U.S. spent about $13.3 billion on porn (that’s more than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC, by the way). No one debates the enormity of the industry.

Neither does anyone debate how widespread pornography is viewed.

• On average, there are 4.2 million pornographic web domains (12% of all websites).
• 25% of total search engine requests are pornography related.
• 42.7% of Internet users intentionally view pornography online.
• On average, every month there are 1.5 billion pornographic peer-to-peer downloads (this is 35% of all downloads online).
• The largest consumer of Internet pornography is the 35-49 age group.
• 90% of children from ages 8 to 16 have viewed porn online (most while doing homework)
• Average age for the first-time exposure to porn is 11.

So, the question isn’t how big the industry is or how much pornography is accessed by people in the U.S. The question is: Why is this a problem? Why is viewing pornography an issue that we should be concerned about?

Viewing pornography is a problem because of how it negatively affects those who view it. When it becomes so widely viewed (as in a sufficiently pornographized culture like ours) it negatively affects cultural mindsets. Lastly, viewing pornography endorses an industry that negatively affects those who work in it. Pornography, as an industry, creates problems psychologically and sociologically. Oprah calls pornography America’s #1 addiction.

PART 2: Porn Statistics

Do you have any statistics for us?

Good question. More and more research is being done today on the effects of pornography on the human brain and human psychology.

From the “Hearing on the Brain Science Behind Pornography Addiction and the Effects of Addiction on Families and Communities.”(1) Here are some quotes from the hearing:

• “. . . modern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically nearly identical to a heroin addiction” (Satinover)
• “Pornography triggers a myriad of endogenous, internal, natural drugs that mimic the ‘high’ from a street drug. Addiction to pornography is addiction to what I dub erototoxins – mind altering drugs produced by the viewer’s own brain.” (Reisman)
• “Pornography, by its very nature, is an equal opportunity toxin. It damages the viewer, the performer, and the spouses and the children of the viewers and the performers. It is toxic mis-education about sex and relationships. It is more toxic the more you consume, the ‘harder’ the variety you consume and the younger and more vulnerable the consumer.” (Layden)
• “. . . the findings of numerous studies suggest that pornography consumption promotes sexual deviancy, sexual perpetration, and adverse sexual attitudes.” (Weaver)
• “Since the 50s, as pornography became mainstreamed and pushed the envelope of normal sexual conduct, law enforcement reported that sex crimes mimicking comparable acts were being inflicted on women and children. . . . Testimony from victims and police commonly finds pornography to be an on-site sex abuse manual.” (Reisman)
• “I have also seen in my clinical experience that pornography damages the sexual performance of the viewers. Pornography viewers tend to have problems with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. Having spent so much time in unnatural sexual experiences with paper, celluloid and cyberspace, they seem to find it difficult to have sex with a real human being. Pornography is raising their expectation and demand for types and amounts of sexual experiences at the same time it is reducing their ability to experience sex.” (Layden)
• “In men, prolonged exposure to pornography creates and enhances sexual callousness toward women. . . . Prolonged exposure to pornography, it must be remembered, results in both a “loss-of-respect” for female sexual autonomy and the disinhibition of men in the expression of aggression against women.” (Weaver)
• “Once [the pornography actresses] are in the industry they have high rates of substance abuse, typically alcohol and cocaine, depression, borderline personality disorder. . . . The experience I find most common among the performers is that they have to be drunk, high or dissociated in order to go to work. Their work environment is particularly toxic. . . . The terrible work life of the pornography performer is often followed by an equally terrible home life. They have an increased risk of sexually transmitted disease including HIV, domestic violence and have about a 25% chance of making a marriage that lasts as long as 3 years.” (Layden)
• “It has always seemed self-evident that pornography is nothing more than a form of ‘expression.’ . . . I respectfully submit to this committee that modern science allows us to see that this is an illusion: Pornography is mere ‘expression’ only in the trivial sense that a fall from the Empire State building is a mere stumble—since it’s hitting the ground that’s fatal.” (Satinover)
• “There are no studies and no data that indicate a benefit from pornography use. . . . The society is awash in pornography and so in fact the data are in. If pornography made us healthy, we would be healthy by now.” (Layden)

And these researchers are by no means alone in their observations. Viewing pornography affects both neurochemistry and beliefs about sexuality.

Another excellent resource is Gary R. Brooks’ book, The Centerfold Syndrome. He describes what he observes as a “pervasive disorder” linked to the consumption of soft-core pornography like Playboy.

He mentions five main symptoms of this disorder.

1. Voyeurism – An obsession with looking at women rather than interacting with them. This, of course, can apply to far more than pornography, but any consumption of the “sexuality-on-tap” culture in which we live. Media glorifies and objectifies women’s bodies thus promoting unreal images of women, feeding male obsession with visual stimulation, and trivializing other mature features of a healthy sexual relationship.
2. Objectification – An attitude in which women are objects rated by size, shape and harmony of body parts. Sexual fantasy leads to emotional unavailability and dissatisfaction.
3. Validation – The need to validate masculinity through beautiful women. Women who meet centerfold standards only retain their power as along as they maintain “perfect” bodies and the lure of unavailability. It is very common for a man’s fantasy sexual encounter to include a feeling of manly validation. It is also common for men to feel invalidated by their wives if they have trained their minds and bodies to respond only to the fantasy advances of their dream girl.
4. Trophyism – The idea that beautiful women are collectibles who show the world who a man is. Pornography reinforces the women’s-bodies-as-trophies mentality.
5. Fear of True Intimacy – Inability to relate to women in an honest and intimate way despite deep loneliness. Pornography exalts a man’s sexual needs over his need for sensuality and intimacy. Some men develop a preoccupation with sexuality, which powerfully handicaps their capacity for emotionally intimate relationships.

Who is looking at porn?

In short, nearly everyone. 72% of the visitors to pornographic sites are male, 28% are female. 70% of 18 to 24 year old men visit pornographic sites in a typical month. The majority of both adults (18+) and teenagers regularly view pornographic material.

In the Internet age, pornography has become accessible in ways it never was before. There’s no longer the need to drive to the seedy shop at the end of our town and risk being seen. Now, hours of pornography can stream into our private homes and offices, free of charge, and with much less risk of being caught

__________________________________________

(1) I typically refer people to the researchers such as Dr. Judith Reisman, Dr. Jeffrey Satinover, Dr. MaryAnne Layden, and Dr. James B. Weaver. On Nov. 18, 2004, these very qualified men and women were called to be witnesses before a U.S. Senate subcommittee:

How much of the church is affected by porn?

Unfortunately the church is as affected as the rest of the population.

There’s a ministry called Freedom Begins Here that has started talking about the “20/50 Crisis.” A startling survey recently revealed that 20% of Christian women and 50% of Christian men admit they are addicted to pornography. Not just struggling . . . addicted. When we include the stats for those who are “struggling” but wouldn’t call themselves “addicts” we see that some 70% of Christian men are struggling with pornography on some level. In the younger generations, this stat is even higher.

Focus on the Family reports that of the 10,000 calls, emails and letters they receive every day, struggles with pornography represent their No. 1 incoming request for help overall.

Practically speaking, with stats like these this means that nearly every family and every church is affected by pornography. These men are our sons, our fathers, our brothers, and even our pastors. These women are our daughters, our mothers, and our sisters.

What kind of an effect do you think porn is having on church leadership?

According to a Leadership Journal survey, almost two-thirds of all pastors struggle with Internet pornography. Some stats show that 40% of pastors consider this a great struggle or an addiction. A recent book by Mark Laaser and Ralph H. Earle Jr. called “The Pornography Trap” deals with this issue head on.

I can speak very personally about this issue. Not too long ago I was a campus minister, discipling college students, dealing with my own personal addiction to pornography. Pastors and ministers are like all sinful men: they have a sinful nature that can be captured by lust. But on top of this, a pastor’s job can also be a breeding ground for this kind of sin. I’ll explain.

Many pastors hold flexible, irregular, and long hours. Their jobs can be emotionally draining. They are expected to be found in their offices and studies alone for long hours preparing for sermons or making calls. This can create more opportunities for tempting thoughts to fester and more opportunities for secret sins. In addition, many pastors do not have a system of open and honest accountability in their lives. They are lone-ranger pastors or feel like they are. Many feel like their church, elder board, or denomination does not emotionally support them. Confessing a struggle with pornography could mean the loss of their job, and so there is a hidden pressure to remain quiet about it or deal with it alone. This only accelerates the struggle.

One of the reasons why pornography is so enticing and addicting is because the woman on screen is flattering (Proverbs 6:24-28): she makes the man feel needed, wanted, attractive, desired—like a “real man.” Pornography is a way to medicate a brittle ego. It isn’t uncommon for pastors to come into the ministry struggling with a fragile ego. Some pastors go into vocational ministry with hidden motives—hidden even to them—expecting their ministry position to give them a sense of value and importance. Ministry then becomes a band-aid over the fragile ego. (I can sadly testify to this personally, even though it isn’t true of everyone.)

More and more seminaries and Bible colleges are recognizing the need to address this pornography issue among the future pastors and elders they are educating. Character training and building self-control are being highlighted more and more. Several colleges have started using accountability software for their dormitory computers to encourage conversations about temptations, confession of sin, and a deeper, more honest discipleship. Covenant Eyes Accountability software is currently used by Christ For the Nations in Texas, Mount St. Mary’s University in Maryland, the Baptist College of Florida, Bethel University in Minnesota, Grace Baptist College in Michigan, Grace College and Theological Seminary in Indiana, Moore Theological Seminary in Sydney, Australia, and Toccoa Falls College in Georgia.

Interview 3:

Tell me about Covenant Eyes.

Covenant Eyes is a business that started in March of 2000. Ron DeHaas, the founder and president, was looking for ways to keep his children safe online, but he knew the limitations of Internet filters. A filter can be circumvented, plus, it doesn’t necessarily help to establish a pattern of self-control when using the Internet.

Covenant Eyes is the first company to produce Internet Accountability software. The software is fairly simple to use and install. Unlike a filter, it doesn’t block web sites from appearing or slow your Internet access. It simply monitors everywhere you go online, recording each web page visited, and logging every part of every web page (every URL on a page) and rating each part for content. Our rating system is still one of the features that sets us apart from similar software.

Covenant Eyes servers store and organize that information into easy-to-read reports. By storing the reports on our servers they cannot be erased by the user. Additionally if a user removes the program or attempts to bypass it, an email is sent to Accountability Partners and this activity also appears on their report.

The Covenant Eyes user chooses accountability partners who will have access to their Internet surfing record. These partners can have that record emailed to them or they can access that record on the Covenant Eyes website 24/7.

Accountability partners include parents, trusted friends, mentors, coaches, husbands, wives, Pastors, clergy, Priest’s, Rabbi’s, counselors, or other trusted and concerned individuals who are committed to helping the Covenant Eyes user. (“Committed” means regularly review reports and hold the user accountable for their actions in how they are using the Internet. This is done in a loving, caring but honest manner.)

The reports show all sorts of Internet surfing trends: the most visited web pages, times of day the Internet was most used, the highest scoring web sites, and any web searches (such as on Google or Yahoo). When an accountability partner learns to use the report, it becomes a very effective tool for having open and honest conversations about Internet use.

Today this software is used by over 40,000 customers in approximately 70 countries around the world. We are recommended by ministries like Focus on The Family, Promise Keepers, Young Life, Navigators, Wycliffe Bible Translators, Precept Ministries International, Assemblies of God, The National Coalition for Purity, The National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, Faithful and True Ministries (Dr. Mark Laaser), Dallas Theological Seminary, and Christ for the Nations Bible College.

Who are you and what do you do?

I am the “Internet Community Manager” at Covenant Eyes, which is a fancy name for “Blog Editor.” We realize that the Internet is a place where many people are having thousands of little conversations about the things that we are passionate about—conversations about Internet safety, freedom from pornography temptation and addiction, online accountability, and so on. Covenant Eyes didn’t want to remain simply a software company. It is important for us to enter those conversations, meeting the Internet community right where it is. The blog is just one way we are doing that. We hope to provide helpful resources, informative documents and articles, news updates about our software, and fresh Biblical insights that will nourish the minds and hearts of our readers. One more thing. Even though Covenant Eyes is a business, we operate a lot like a ministry. We have a biblical responsibility to manage resources, but our real burden is to change people’s lives by providing a software service that protects and strengthens individuals, families, and marriages from Internet pornography’s devastating effects.

I get to interact online with many people who are helping those who have experienced Internet addictions, and those who are in the midst of addictions themselves.

How can Covenant Eyes help people with porn addiction?

Covenant Eyes is a software program that promotes Biblical principles. Accountability, walking in the Light, guarding our eyes, setting no wicked thing before our eyes, and many more such principals. When we live Biblically it pleases the Lord and we experience benefits. Software itself doesn’t change hearts that is the job of the Holy Spirit. But we know from hundreds of testimonials that the program is having a life changing impact on people’s lives. As Christians we are to live by the Word of God, (Matthew 4:4,) walking in the Spirit, (Gal 5:16) and be actively supporting the community of Christ, the church. As we do this, not just knowing Truth, but applying Truth to our lives, we will experience again and again the power of the Spirit and His Light will begin to flood the darkest areas of our lives.

Take for example my friend, Scott. He has struggled for years with temptation to view pornography. It started with magazines like Playboy and Hustler, but since the advent of the Internet, he has access to online porn at home without needing to leave the house.

Scott is also involved in a men’s group at his church and that group has been growing closer over the past few months. He has opened up to them about his struggle. One of the elders in his church heads up the men’s group and is there to offer good Biblical counsel and experiential wisdom that applies to Scott’s situation. One of Scott’s friends who attends the group also struggles with this temptation, and he is becoming a true brother to Scott, giving him that assurance that he isn’t alone in the fight. Other men in the group have had some measure of victory over this struggle, and these men prove to Scott that he can overcome this temptation.

The whole group decides to get Covenant Eyes Accountability software. Now their relationship has been brought to a whole new level. Scott chooses both the elder and two other men in the group to be his accountability partners. He knows that every week they will receive a report of his Internet use. Knowing that they are there “looking over his shoulder” means that his Internet use is no longer a private matter. He has effectively let these men into his life in a whole new way, a whole new level of vulnerability with accountability.

The week after installing the software, Scott has a conversation with his accountability partners about his Internet use. They notice that he has stumbled on a number of questionable sites, but that he didn’t spend long on any of them, only a few seconds. This shows that Scott was tempted, gave in, but stopped himself before he explored any further. They encourage him as a group and pray for him to be able to run away from temptation.

His elder notices that one of the websites was accessed at 1:05am on Tuesday. He suggests to Scott that staying up late at night online is a sure-fire way to set yourself up for a fall. Another accountability partner notices that Scott used a search engine to look for pornographic material and knows exactly what Scott typed in. Together they are able to talk at length about what was going on in Scott’s mind and heart at the time that led to him wanting to search for pornography. No more vague confessions for Scott. His partners know specific details about his sin that allows them to probe deeper into Scott’s mind and trace the root of his addiction. They are able to help Scott develop a plan to avoid situations that set himself up for failure.

Moreover, the mere presence of the software is a deterrent to Scott now. He knows that he will need to answer to his accountability partners for his Internet use, so he begins to stay away from the pornography online. Over time, Scott becomes free from pornography’s grip.

Scott is one among hundreds of thousands of examples. Covenant Eyes is a tool for communities to promote honesty, integrity, and accountability about Internet use. In the context of discipleship, Covenant Eyes can be a very effective way for porn addicts regain control of their lives. And one more thing. Covenant Eyes is not just for those addicted or struggling with Internet pornography. It’s for anyone using the Internet who never wants to develop this struggle. This would include parents to set a proper example for their kids, to protect their marriage, and their children, it’s for teenagers and young adults, church leaders, business owners and anyone recognizing the extreme danger of Internet pornography.

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